A VANCOUVER PRIMER: MAKING FRIENDS

“A Vancouver Primer” is a series of articles tailored for the new or prospective Vancouverite in mind.

As I moved to Vancouver by myself a little over two years ago, one of my top priorities was obviously to make new friends.  It wasn’t easy…  In the first few months following my arrival, I came to find out that Vancouver is intensely “private.”  Maybe the fact that I’m somewhat introverted didn’t help, but most people I’ve talked to since then would agree that it’s “cold” in Vancouver!

Here’s an anecdote to explain my point: it’s St-Valentine’s season (2007) and I’ve had it with on-line dating and its virtual hopes turning quickly into real disappointments.  I decide to try an actual live, organized, paying event which consists of some performance in a club followed by — so the description said — a mixing and mingling session with all the eligible bachelorettes and bachelors.  So the so-so show begins and, I don’t mind — what I’m really interested in is the mingling afterwards.  About 90 minutes later, the show ends and to my astonishment, most people immediately left!  “Hey!  Where did all the mingling go?!!!”  The organizers didn’t even attempt to keep the crowd in and lead them to the next step.  Introverted me actually had to take matters into my own hands and improvise the mingling session myself.  Although I had some interesting discussions with the few that stayed, no lasting contact was made — and that’s OK.

Oddly enough, that failed evening proved to be a blessing in disguise: during the uninspiring performance, I casually started to chat with my neighbour and complained to her about how difficult it was to meet people in Vancouver.  She said there were much better options out there for me to try and gave me a list of websites to look over.  As soon as I got back home, I skimmed through her short list and stopped looking when I got to a site called Meetup.  

Although I’d never heard of Meetup prior to that fateful evening, I was surprised to see how popular it was (as of this writing, nearly 600 Meetup groups exist within 25 miles of downtown Vancouver!).  With so many groups to choose from, chances are it will be just a few clicks before you find a few that match your interests.  Most of those groups are free to join.

Once you’ve joined a group, all you have to do is wait for the event notifications to come flooding your e-mail inbox. I guess it’s a necessary evil, especially if you’re new in town.  A word of advice if you’re part of a popular group: be quick!  If a group has over 1,000 members and there are only 20 spots to fill for an event, you can imagine how fast these could go!  It’s not uncommon for an event to be full within an hour in those cases.  But, never fear, if there are no spots left, I can almost guarantee you that a few will become available a day or two before the event as some people realize that “Oh, I won’t be able to make it after all.”  You just have to be a little proactive in checking the group’s calendar from time to time.  A recent feature on the Meetup site that I haven’t had the chance to experiment with yet is their “Waiting List.”  This sounds like it should render the need to checkup on those available spots unnecessary.

Another great thing I can tell you about Meetup is that you don’t necessarily need a car to go to those events.  I don’t have one myself and yet I’ve heard some born-and-bred Vancouverites tell me that I have probably seen more of Vancouver and its surroundings in two years than they have in their whole life (I managed to go to 25+ hiking spots and other places thanks to carpooling, in 2007)!  If you’re polite enough, you should have no trouble finding someone to carpool with (tipping the driver is obviously expected).  And here’s another tip for you: don’t wait for people offering to carpool to contact you first — ask them yourself!!!  It might seem obvious to you, but you’d be surprised how often I see members leaving their coordinates in their RSVP to an event, waiting for a carpooler to “serve” them… :s

Oh, and since I’ve heard the comment a few times before, might I add that Meetup is not necessarily for single people only…  Many of them are, yes, but as far as I’m concerned, I’ve never felt like the events I’ve been to were a cover for a dating game. It’s all about the activity and the “prospects” are no more than a nice distraction — the activity might be dating, though (dating groups are a-plenty on Meetup)… :p  But I don’t think even the knitting group could keep you 100% safe from the clutches of love (if you’re single); after all, you will be meeting people that have interests similar to yours. ;)

Whether you’re in it for friendship or love, before you know it you’ll be making new friends.  My own experience with Meetup has been amazing!  I have attended many many events of all kinds — many of which I probably never would have thought of myself — and people have been overwhelmingly friendly, upbeat, and fun.  I now have a nice circle of “personal” friends, but they all started as “Meetup” friends (except one).  As a result, I don’t see my Meetup buddies as often as I used to anymore (too busy with the personal friends and the overall busyness of life), but I owe it to Meetup for making my social life exciting and, dare I say, even finding me a lovely wife (not from the knitting group :p ).

Thanks to Meetup, Vancouver rocks! :)

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2 thoughts on “A VANCOUVER PRIMER: MAKING FRIENDS

  1. Hi,

    I recently moved here myself and found Vancouver to be very cold as well.

    Meetup was a awesome tool to get into a social gathering with other people whom are in the same situation.

    Another tool I use is nuuly.com – a website similar to meetup, however feels like its a smaller community.

    Tommy

    • I’ve had a quick look at nuuly and not a single link seems to be working at this time (they’re still in beta, but still…). Home page looks nice though. Hope they manage to get a good following, too. The more the merrier! :)

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